Do I Really Have ADHD?

And can I really diagnose myself with the reels of random dudes on Instagram?

Kiall Hildred

Feb 17, 2025

A man in black shorts, a white t-shirt and red sneakers standing on the edge of a rock pool next to a vast and still sea. His head is down and he’s looking at his phone, which is in his hands in front of his chest. — A man seeking answers to questions, just not right now though because he’s looking up the name of that fish. Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash. Cropped by author.

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With Friends Like These, Who Needs Analyses?

A friend is trying to convince me I have ADHD.

And, based on the experiences detailed by the people in the Instagram videos he constantly sends me, maybe I do.

But, what does that mean, exactly?

Like, what does it mean to have ADHD? How do I know if I have it? Who determines whether I have it or not? What is it? Does it even make sense to say I have it? Does it make me special? And is it so special a thing as to warrant a diagnosis if seemingly half the population of Instagram claim they have it?

Also, and most importantly, can I really diagnose myself with ADHD because some random dudes on Instagram—who I can’t even be sure have formal diagnoses—exhibit a lot of the same behaviours that I do?

Alright, how do I know if I have it and who determines whether I have it or not?

Well, ADHD is categorised as a mental disorder, so if I wanted to know whether I have it or not I could go to a clinical psychologist and have them assess me.

However, that’s expensive and time consuming. So, failing that, what I could do is look up ADHD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the DSM) and use that to figure out whether I have, because that’s what clinicians refer to anyway when making a diagnosis (unless you’re in Europe, then it’s probably the ICD).

Of course, I’m not a highly-trained clinician, and definitely not a specialist in diagnosing ADHD, so I can’t be sure that my interpretation of the description is correct. But, I did study psychology, so I am familiar with the DSM and with how mental disorders are defined and catalogued.

And for what it’s worth, the friend trying to convince me that I have ADHD also isn’t a highly-trained clinician, and if an endless number of random people on Instagram can claim they have it and detail its supposedly characteristic behaviours, then I think I can get away with a little self-diagnosis using the official diagnostic manual.

At worst, I can probably get a sense of whether I have it or not and whether it’s worth getting assessed. So, let’s take a look at the entry on ADHD and I’ll tell you if I think it describes me.

Feel free to play along at home.

ADHD & Me

The way these diagnoses work is that there’s a list of key symptoms of which you have to have some minimum number of in order to be given a diagnosis. These are referred to as the diagnostic criteria.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and the three parts of that name represent its three key diagnostic criteria: 1) Attention Deficit, 2) Hyperactivity, and 3) Disorder. So, broadly, if I have it, it means: I can’t focus; I’m always running around or fidgeting; and all of this causes real problems in my life.

Well, damn: I do have trouble focusing sometimes, and I fidget often.

Although, I’m not sure that these cause any kind of real problems in my life. But then again, I’m not rich or famous (yet), so maybe this occasional unfocused fidgeting is stopping me from reaching my full potential.

Of course, having deleterious levels of fidgeting and poor focus doesn’t really tell the whole ADHD story—a fact that the many “ADHDers” on Instagram seem to fail to recognise.

In the more nuanced version, there are five criteria you have to satisfy in order to get a diagnosis:

A: A persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development…
B: Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present prior to age 12 years.
C: Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms are present in two or more settings (e.g., at home, school, or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).
D: There is clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, academic, or occupational functioning.
E: The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder and are not better explained by another mental disorder (e.g., mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder, substance intoxication or withdrawal).

So, do I fit these more specific criteria?

Let me start from the middle, because A has a whole other list of weighty sub-criteria that I’ll get into.

Attention Deficit

First,

B: Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present prior to age 12 years.

Who knows? I can’t really remember what I was like before age 12. And what reference would I have to determine whether my behaviour was inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive if I had never been assessed for ADHD as a child?

I mean, I didn’t seem to have issues as a kid, at least not ones serious enough for my parents to seek the help of a psychologist. But maybe they were just negligent, or unaware of what should be normal behaviour.

I don’t think so, but either way, how would someone giving out a diagnosis determine this criterion?

They could ask the parents, I guess. But that’s not exactly objective. And what if they parents aren’t not available? Are they just asking the patient? That’s even less objective, especially if the patient is hoping for a diagnosis—they may be inclined to remember their pre-adolescence as being more inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive than it really was. Either way, as far as I’m aware, I was a pretty quiet kid. Highly anxious and sensitive, perhaps, but quiet.

So, I’d say no to this criterion. Which would immediately rule me out. But, let’s keep going just to entertain the possibility.

E: The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder and are not better explained by another mental disorder (e.g., mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder, substance intoxication or withdrawal).

I certainly hope not.

But note: this would be a “yes”, because I hopefully don’t have any psychotic disorders, and hence if I have the other criteria, then I automatically get this one. But, I still need to know whether or not I fit the more important behavioural criteria, which I’ll get to.

For now:

C: Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms are present in two or more settings (e.g., at home, school, or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).

This criterion is checking that you don’t just exhibit ADHD symptoms in only one specific environment.

I’m going to say no, because, again, the answer to this would be fully determined by how I answer the more important behavioural criteria, which are detailed in criterion A, which I will get to now.

In full, A is:

A persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development, as characterized by (1) and/or (2).

(1) and (2) being lists of sub-symptoms and sets of criteria, namely:

1. Inattention: Six (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that negatively impacts directly on social and academic/occupational activities:
Note: … For older adolescents and adults (age 17 and older), at least five symptoms are required.

a. Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate).

No, I have pretty good attention to detall.

b. Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading).

If something is interesting to me, I can stay focused on it. But maybe I sit lower on the bell curve of attention spans than the average, I wouldn’t know.

I do have difficulty reading for long periods of time. But it’s not so much that I get distracted. It’s that I get tired of reading and I usually have other things I want to do. If I’ve got nothing to do, I can plough through a book in a few days. So I think this is a difficult one to answer if you’re not also asking what the tasks are and why you’re doing them.

A soft no.

c. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (e.g., mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of any obvious distraction).

I have to say yes. But only when I’m not interested in what the person is saying. I’m sorry, but there are more interesting things going on in my head than the contents of 95% of small talk. Either way, I don’t think someone should be thought of as having ADHD because other people are boring.

d. Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked).

No, I do my work pretty thoroughly and to the end, regardless of how long it takes me. If I drop a task mid-way through, that’s usually because a supervisor or colleague has asked me to change tasks.

Long-term plans are something different.

e. Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines).

A significant amount of my career has been in some kind of managerial role in logistics or operations specifically because I’m very good at organisation and time management.

So big no.

f. Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g., schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers).

Who doesn’t? If I’m interested in what I’m doing, then I can work through whatever tedium. I could do puzzles or problem-solving until my brain hurts., but no one likes filling out a form. Again, I don’t think someone should be thought of as having ADHD because other people want them to do boring things.

I’m going to say no.

g. Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones).

I’m usually pretty good at keeping track of where I leave these kinds of things. Or, more accurately, I’m very good at creating a place for them and then always returning them to that place. And maybe that’s a strategy I’ve adopted for coping with the above tendency. But I’m also very good at recalling where something is when someone asks for it, even if it had no relevance or usefulness to me when I saw it.

Yes, I’ve misplaced my sunglasses or water bottle on occasion, because I’m always carrying them around with me (gotta stay hydrated) and so sometimes I put them down in the middle of a task and then can’t remember where I left them. But the criterion says, “often”.

So this one is a no.

h. Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (for older adolescents and adults, may include unrelated thoughts).

I can be pretty distractable. Especially by my own thoughts. But that’s mostly only when I’m working on something I don’t have much motivation for — when the reward value of the thing you’re paying attention to is lower than the reward value of what you could be paying attention to, you’re probably going to get distracted.

However, if the external stimulus is a TV, then yes, I am endlessly distractable. But I’m pretty sure that has everything to do with the fact that I don’t have a TV and haven’t for a very long time. Hence, I don’t watch TV. And because I don’t watch TV, when I see one I get distracted because everything on there is novel and shiny and attention-grabbing.

This is going to be a soft yes.

i. Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments).

I’m pretty on the ball most days. Sure, there are some things that have been on my to-do list for far too long, but that’s a consequence of having a routine that doesn’t include regular space for getting those things done, and a consequence of the fact that I have a limited amount of time in my day and I like to get the more pressing tasks done first—as reality would seem to require.

This one is a no.

So, those are the inattention criteria, of which I have to have five or more (because I’m older than 17) and they need to “have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that negatively impacts directly on social and academic/occupational activities.”

If I’m being really generous, at most I have three. And one of those is a very mild yes. So that rules out the “Attention Deficit” part of our acronym.

What about the H?

Hyperactivity

2. Hyperactivity and impulsivity: Six (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that negatively impacts directly on social and academic/occupational activities:
Note: The symptoms are not solely a manifestation of oppositional behavior, defiance, hostility, or a failure to understand tasks or instructions. For older adolescents and adults (age 1 7 and older), at least five symptoms are required.

a. Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat.

Yep.

b. Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the classroom, in the office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining in place).

No. If I need to stay seated somewhere, I stay seated.

c. Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate. (Note: In adolescents or adults, may be limited to feeling restless.)

Well, I’m not an adolescent, so if it’s limited to restlessness then yes, I get restless, but that depends heavily on the circumstances. Also, who determines in which situations climbing is inappropriate?

No.

d. Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly.

Umm…what?

No.

e. Is often “on the go,” acting as if “driven by a motor” (e.g., is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for extended time, as in restaurants, meetings; may be experienced by others as being restless or difficult to keep up with).

I’m not sure how this is different from c, so yes. But if I have a lot of things I want to get done, then I don’t really have much choice but to be “on the go”. Although, I wouldn’t say I’m frantic.

f. Often talks excessively.

If you get me on the right topic I can say a lot, but I wouldn’t say I talk excessively. Or, who determines it’s excessive?

No.

g. Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation).

I’m not a blurter. I don’t blurt. But I do often finish sentences if I know what the person is going to say. This isn’t impulsive though—I can stop myself if I want to. For me it’s a way of signalling to the other person that I’m both listening and following their line of reasoning, which as far as I can tell is well-received, or at least neutrally received.

So, no.

h. Often has difficulty waiting his or her turn (e.g., while waiting in line).

I’m very patient.

So, no.

i. Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations, games, or activities; may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission; for adolescents and adults, may intrude into or take over what others are doing).

Well, I’m patient, so I wait my turn.

Although, sometimes I do use things without asking for permission, but that’s a more recent character development that came along with a certain level of confidence and a low level of embarrassment. It’s certainly not how I was as a kid.

It also depends on the relationship I have with the person that owns whatever I’m using without permission—I’m not going to enter some random person’s house and start making myself a sandwich.

So, no. Or at most a maybe.

Ok, that was the hyperactivity and impulsivity criteria. Again, if I’m being generous, then maybe I fit four. Which isn’t five. So it’s a no for the “Hyperactivity” part of our acronym.

Leaving just D for Disorder. Which coincidentally is also criterion D.

Disorder

D. There is clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, academic, or occupational functioning.

This is an important one. You can’t really call something a “disorder” if you behave in the ways described in the diagnosis but life is going peachy for you.

Although, if you’re exhibiting all of the requisite behaviours, but it’s just not causing you problems, then surely you still “have it”—whatever it is—it just won’t be considered a disorder and you won’t receive an ADHD diagnosis (there might be something else on the menu for you).

But, it’s hard to see how that would be the case. Because the “interference” part of this criterion is already baked into a lot of the others. Like, if you’re getting up out of your seat at inappropriate times and constantly interrupting people, how could that not interfere with your social functioning?

I’d hate to know what the people around you are tolerating, or not telling you, in order for that kind of behaviour to not be a significant detriment to your social life.

Anyway, congratulations! You passed the test.

If you made it this far without fidgeting or losing focus to a detrimental degree—or starting a new hobby, or researching 12th-Century Polish art, or deciding that now is the perfect time to pull up the carpet and polish the floorboards—then you probably don’t have ADHD.

And based on this assessment, I also probably don’t have ADHD. But, that’s what I suspected. Because I know what ADHD is and I know that it’s not the random behaviours that people on Instagram claim are symptoms of their supposed ADHD.

The Haves and Have Nots

Anyway, putting aside the quest to determine whether I have it, there are some people who really do have it. Which still leaves the question, “What does it mean to have it?

In the world of diseases—which the world of disorders is analogised to—“having” usually refers to a set of symptoms with a physical cause, but it can also refer directly to the cause itself.

AIDS is a good example of this. AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) is the disease caused by HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). So you can have HIV and you can have AIDS, but one kind of having refers to there being a virus physically inside you, and the other kind of having refers to you exhibiting a set of symptoms.

In this sense, ADHD (and other mental disorders) would be similar to the second kind of having. But it’s very much not like the second, HIV kind of having.

This might seem like a bit of pointless semantics, but there is something that gets confused in the semantic ambiguity of saying “I have ADHD”. Because, when we think of ourselves as “having” ADHD, we slip into thinking of it as the cause of our behaviour, like we think of HIV as the cause of AIDS.

We think, “I have ADHD, and that’s why I’m like this”, instead of “I’m like this (I behave this way, or I think like this), and that combination of things is called ADHD”. But it should the second. Because ADHD is a description of behaviour, not a cause of it.

So all those ADHDers on Instagram are wrong when they say, “I can’t stay focused on one task for more than 12 seconds because I have ADHD”. Sure, they may not be able to stay focused for more than 12 seconds, but that’s not because of their ADHD. Their lack of focus is one of the behaviours—among many (see above)—that we group together and label “ADHD”.

Explanation Deficit

What that means is that, if you did get a diagnosis, then that wouldn’t explain your behaviour. It would only label it.

If you go to the doctor because you have a sore wrist and can’t grip things and the doctor tells you, “Oh, you have Painful Wrist Disorder”, you don’t think, “Oh my god, that explains so much of my behaviour”. No, you don’t, because it doesn’t. It doesn’t explain anything; it just labels it.

Sure, you might let some people know that you have a sore wrist so that reasonable adjustments can be made for you, but you still need to figure out what’s causing the sore wrist and do something about it. You still need to ask “why?”

Why are you behaving this way? What’s behind it? What are the beliefs or problems causing it? Is it just some chemical imbalance? Is it due to childhood trauma or growing up in an unstable environment?

Does it have anything to do with the fact that you ate pure sugar for lunch and then spent 45 minutes watching people you don’t know do random things on a complex piece of technology designed with the express purpose of destroying your ability to pay attention to anything else?

Maybe. Maybe that would explain many of the “ADHD” reels that seem to be entirely about getting distracted by a smartphone. But in that case, you probably don’t have ADHD.

Either way, I don’t know the answers, but it’s important to ask these kinds of questions and to try and answer them instead of slapping a label on the behaviour and then confusing that label for an explanation. Or worse, confusing it for an excuse.

(The same can be said for “personality”.)

Normal Special Attention

Ok, where are we? Can I diagnose myself with ADHD using random Instagram reels because the people on them exhibit a lot of the same behaviours I do?

Well, what do I know about those behaviours, about which behaviours count as ADHD, and about whether or not these “ADHDers” even have it?

It may be the case that I exhibit many of the behaviours that the ADHDers on Instagram are claiming are part of their ADHD, but I don’t have ADHD because the supposed ADHDers don’t actually have ADHD and have completely misunderstood what it is. Or it could be that the ADHDers really do have ADHD—as in they have, or would qualify for, a diagnosis—but the behaviours we share are not the ones that actually get labelled “ADHD”.

That is, they could be wrong about which parts of their behaviour count towards that diagnosis and which parts are just their own idiosyncratic behaviours. Or quirky habits. Or just completely normal, common, unremarkable behaviours that don’t often get displayed publicly.

That’s precisely the kind of behaviours that are useful for getting engagement on social media because the more common but less publicly displayed the behaviour, the more chances that other people will recognise it in themselves and think that no one else does them.

Then if you slap a label on it saying, “POV: when you have ADHD”, then every doom-scroller looking for social connection is going to think, “Wow, I also do that entirely-normal-but-not-talked-about-because-it’s-not-actually-remarkable behaviour, and this random person I don’t know and can’t verify whether they have an official diagnosis, nor any training in diagnosing ADHD is saying that they have ADHD, so I must have ADHD. All of my behaviour finally makes sense and I really am special.”

Look, I’m not trying to deny the existence of ADHD, or claim that people with it aren’t suffering, or argue that there shouldn’t be greater awareness of it, or that we shouldn’t normalise it.

Normalising ADHD (and other neurodivergent traits) is great—it removes stigma and hence gives those who suffer one less thing to worry about. But normalising it also makes it easy pickings for those who just want to feel special or gain attention on social media, or in other platforms of life. And that draws attention and awareness and resources away from those actually suffering—those with debilitating behaviours—not just those who want to make “ADHD” or “neurodivergence” part of their personal image.

These are new badges in this I’m-abnormal-but-it’s-actually-a-blessing-but-also-a-curse-but-also-I’m-accepting-of-it-because-it’s-who-I-am-and-it’s-so-debilitating-and-I-can’t-get-anything-done-but-in-reality-I-have-a-pretty-stable-and-functional-life sentiment that pervades social media.

It looks like the normalisation of ADHD or neurodivergence, but in reality, it’s just attention-seeking by normal-but-otherwise-insecure people looking for social validation with some new way to be special that they weren’t previously aware of.

If as many people had ADHD as are claiming to on Instagram, then it would seem that ADHD is the norm, and so there wouldn’t really be anything special about you if you had it. If we’re all neurodivergent, then what are we divergent from?

Not because that keeps the people who have it special, but because ADHD is generally a bad thing to have. I don’t mean that the person who has it is bad. I mean it’s bad for the person who has it because it makes that person suffer.

You don’t want ADHD.

Luckily, we don’t all have ADHD. But if we did, we wouldn’t know that by diagnosing ourselves based off the reels of some random people on Instagram. So we should probably stop doing that.